What does the "Undo" button do: I'm not a therapist, but I play one on the phone.

From time to time I get the sense early on in a call that the person I'm talking to needs way more than just help fixing their computer problems. It's usually not that hard to spot them. They've got the hitch in their breath that says they're too damn tired for this, or their patience when they get interrupted by someone on the other side of the phone is just that bit frayed. I believe in the charity principle, so I try my best to believe that people can be reached. I try to say, okay, this person is probably tired, or busy, or this is the fifth crisis that's been brought to them in the past hour.

And then... there was this person.

I've had panic attacks. This poor woman was well past a panic attack. She was on the verge of hyperventilating herself into an early grave. I've heard more calm from a toddler on a sugar rush. You could hear fewer "sorry's" in an ancient East Asian court. In her mind she didn't know anything, she couldn't do anything, and everything was her fault, always.

I don't think I've ever felt so awful for a person in my life.

Some of this segment will be funny. I hope most of it will be funny. This, though, wasn't funny. Look at the title of this segment. Realize that was a question I was asked unironically, by someone who was unapologetic about his relative inexperience with computers. And this woman was crying because she didn't know what a web browser was. (Incidentally, that's not as uncommon as you would think.)

But here's something important I learned from that call. It costs very little in terms of time, energy, or resources to be someone's bright spot in the day.

When I wrapped up the problem this woman was having, I stopped her from hanging up the phone. "Ma'am," I said, "I'm going to talk to you as a person, okay? This is me talking to you as a person, not a recommendation from the company." (I can get away with this because I'm really good at my job, and also because customer service is kind of a big deal with my company.)

I explained to this woman, who'd spent money on computer education classes and still felt helpless, that her local library might have classes. That she could talk to them and get help. And she was overwhelmed. It was so nice to have someone be patient with her. To not see her as a burden. To genuinely want to help her, not just with her immediate problem so she'd get off the phone but with the next problem, and the problems she could avoid if someone would just help her. She was about crying with happiness instead of panic, and you know what? I like that sound a hell of a lot better.

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